The Lord restores my soul

 

He heals and reintegrates my broken depths in his eternal life

Reflecting today on Dallas Willard’s paraphrase of “He restores my soul” from Psalm 23. (Life Without Lack; Thomas Nelson 2019)

He heals and reintegrates my broken depths in his eternal life

There are days when it feels

as though I am fragmented

So many pieces of myself

being given

in so many directions 

And not all who demand

are careful with the pieces offered

or appreciative of the gift received

Yet to withhold

would diminish me

And, after a while

I am left

to gather up the discarded shards

and try to fit them together

to make a whole

But as I sit there

with my complex jigsaw puzzle

I become aware

of God

at my shoulder

Isn’t that always the way

when we’re trying to complete a jigsaw

that someone will appear

to help or advise

But God just stands beside me

not interfering

or directing

just patiently 

and companionably waiting

until I’m satisfied

that all the pieces are slotted 

back into place

albeit that some are now

a bit tarnished

a bit rough round the edges

God waits

And I feel God’s hand in mine

as I smooth my hands over

the incomplete picture

and as I poke my fingers

where pieces are missing

And God does not join me

in a frantic search

to recover the missing pieces

or to fill in the gaps 

God continues to sit with me

gazing in love

at a less than pristine picture

that shows all the signs

of wounds 

and scars

gaping holes

toned down hues

that once were vibrant

and even some still shiny fragments

and in God’s loving gaze

I am reminded

I am loved

just the way I am

and in God’s eyes

all of those pieces

speak of a journey

into wholeness

accompanied by the rhythm

of the beating heart of God

And when I sit back

and listen

I hear God whisper

and know

I am enough 

(Liz Crumlish 2019)