A bigger God

Psalms 22:1-5

Psalm 22
Plea for Deliverance from Suffering and Hostility
To the leader: according to The Deer of the Dawn. A Psalm of David.
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;
and by night, but find no rest.
Yet you are holy,
enthroned on the praises of Israel.
In you our ancestors trusted;
they trusted, and you delivered them.
To you they cried, and were saved;
in you they trusted, and were not put to shame.

Sometimes we need permission 

Permission to put aside

our Sunday School faith

and our stoic acceptance that 

“All shall be well

and all manner of things shall be well”

Some times we need permission

to stop downplaying 

our personal grief

to stop 

“putting things in perspective”

to refrain from

“seeing the bigger picture”

For our losses are cumulative
The missed events
of joy and celebration
or of sorrow and commiseration
The missed hugs
and company 
the physical distancing
We know they are vital

Nonetheless, they hurt

They matter
They do not deserve to be shaken off
as unimportant
or as insignificant
Loss is loss.

Our fears are real

We may believe 

that love will triumph

but only when we face our fears

only when we acknowledge our loss

To cry

“My God, my God

why have you forsaken me”

is not betraying faith

it is embracing honest humanity 
And until we acknowledge that
for ourselves
we withhold permission
from those we love
and care for
to be real and honest
in their journey of faith.
The God to whom we cry
stands with us in our complaint
for however long it takes
to express our 
anger, grief and sorrow.
And then the same God
sits with us
as we glimpse 
the smallest vestige
of hope and trust 
crouching beside us
as we rekindle the embers
of a tender flame
and the same God
walks with us
as we learn how to be,
in our woundedness,
people of faith 
for today.
We have permission
to be real.