Ready or not

Advent this year has been filled with boxes - not those that contain advent gifts but those that are produced by moving house. The packing and unpacking has lent a very different backdrop to the season of preparation and readiness for the Christ child. The spiritual practices of Advent have taken place amidst the chaos of packaging materials, paint tins and step ladders and not in the usual, for me, daily meditation and  reflections on the scriptures and season of waiting. And yet, the same God who deemed human beings as worthwhile companions, who determined that we were worth God's coming to earth, has continued to show up in myriad ways this Advent. We may not have tracked down the Christmas tree or the outdoor lights and cards were not even bought never mind sent but God has been more present than ever in the simplicity of creating a home in which there is room for hope, peace, joy and love and room for the baby whose birth heralds those gifts for all creation. And so, on this Christmas Eve, a thanksgiving and a prayer:

Thank you baby God

that gathered around the manger

in which you were laid

were ordinary people

whom you surprised with love,

sharing the good news

with unlikely suspects

whom you deemed worthy.

Thank you baby God

that you did not wait

until we were ready to receive you

for that may never have happened.

Instead, you showed up

without fanfare - 

(although a choir of angels must have been quite spectacular.)

You showed up among people displaced 

and disorientated

pushed from pillar to post

by the whims of government.

You showed up and made your home among us

asking only that we make room for possibility

- the possibility of hope, peace, love and joy.

And today, God with us, still you ask us to believe

that those possibilities might become reality.

God, we believe.

As we make everything ready to herald your birth once more

may our belief become action.

Empowered by you in our midst

may it be so - for the love of God.

Moving worship

I recently wrote a Liturgy for celebrating Communion, and realised how long it had been since I'd had occasion to do that.

Crafting worship, once simply part of my identity, is now a welcome and refreshing pastime as I contribute to Spill the Beans and other worship publications.

Leading worship, however, is something rare in this new role, something to be cherished and for which to be grateful.

It's another transition that has come about in moving from one call to another as I navigate what it means to be "minister without charge".

Two years ago, as I left one ministry for another, thankfully I did not anticipate the loss I would feel when I no longer had to put together, often twice weekly, services. And now I am grateful for the sense of having journeyed through the grief to a place of acceptance - and more - to rediscovering the joy and privilege that it is to occasionally lead God's people in worship.

Calling it out

"Mission will only happen when clergymen get back to preaching from their pulpits and go out knocking on doors." Those were the words of an elderly colleague in a meeting I was recently part of.

His words were applauded and no one called him out.

I was stunned into silence.

It triggered in me a return to an incident I'd had with two other male colleagues over the summer who decided to take me to task on my use of social media. On that occasion, too, I was silenced by their complete lack of awareness of their inappropriate and bullying approach.

In many ways, 25 years into ministry, I shouldn't be surprised by the shocking gender injustice that is all too common in the church but I feel no better equipped to deal with it than I did when I started out.

It seems to me that, if I am always the one who calls it out, that will diminish the other important work that I do. If, however, I remain silent, the stupidity and discrimination continues.

I have in fact lost a number of friendships with male colleagues since following God's call out of the parish and into a new role in the church. It would seem that I've climbed out of the box in which they deemed I belong.

What's more - I find it hard to tell if the gender discrimination is getting worse or if it's my tolerance that has decreased. But what I do know is that life is too short to be considered as anything other than a beloved child of God, called and commissioned by one who created and celebrates my gender, one who honours all created in the image of God as unique, gifted, loved.

Think of all those stories in the gospels of Jesus and the women around him : the woman at the well; the woman with the alabaster jar; the Syrophonecian woman, the haemorrhaging woman; the woman caught in adultery; the women at the cross; the women at the tomb. In the gospels, Jesus' encounters with women are transformative for him, for the women and for those around. Those, often nameless women are the saints I celebrate and whose stories encourage me when others seek to diminish. Those are the saints whose stories encourage me to persist when others would prefer I remain silent.

Thanks be to God for all the faithful women on whose shoulders I stand and may I make the path a little easier for those who follow behind.

Subversive persistence

May you be strengthened in your inner being with power through God's Spirit, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith as you are being rooted and grounded in love. (Ephesians 3:16,17)

All summer long, I've walked with these words. As I've traipsed various beaches I've let them percolate  from my head to my heart, let them become a part of me.

That's been a fairly easy task over the summer, when there's space, space to walk on beaches, space to contemplate the power of the Spirit, space to soak up healing and sustenance. I always knew the test would come when work kicked up a gear again, when I was forced, once more, to engage with the structures of an institution that, contrary to everything it represents and flying in the face of the love on which it is founded, succumbs to the abuse of power and fails to honour the divine spark that resides in all.

What I've discovered, however, back in the fray, is not that the structures with which I have to engage have changed - the glass ceiling has not suddenly been lowered, those who are quick to judge and condemn and those who are so quick to put others down rather than build up the body of Christ, have not miraculously disappeared. But what has changed is my rootedness in love, my security in the power of the Spirit of Christ strengthening me. It's quite a small thing and probably pretty fragile, but it makes a difference. 

Two of my biblical heroes are the Hebrew midwives, Shiphrah and Puah, who countered abuse of power - they went against the order of Pharaoh to kill Hebrew children. Out of their subversion, Moses was born and a whole nation was led to freedom.

With the power of the Spirit of God dwelling within us, rooted and grounded in love, we are called to be subversive - for the sake of the Kingdom of God.

Resilience

Resilience has become a bit of a buzz word just now. Educators want to see our young people develop resilience. Politicians must acquire  resilience in the face of a rapidly changing world. Even the church is concerned with ensuring (or at least measuring) the resilience of its ministers.

Psychologists assure us that resilience can be learned: the ability to adapt and overcome challenge or to perceive trauma as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than be defeated by it help us develop resilience.

While there is comfort in the knowledge that stressors don't have to define us, that we can rise above the things that might drag us down, that we can learn to change our perception and react with less negative emotion, it concerns me that it then becomes possible to accept things that are plainly wrong simply because we know that we can rise above their impact. This is of particular concern in the church. Recently, grappling with an issue of bullying, I was advised by colleagues to "let it go", "to forgive", "to be the bigger person", all well-meant advice but advice that nonetheless exacerbates the problem and perpetuates the injustice. It is conceivable that developing resilience merely papers over the cracks of a system that is rotting at its core. In my finer moments, I can take on a different, more positive perspective but that doesn't alter the fact that there are those in power, who should know better, who will carry on abusing that power unchallenged while those around them will merely become more resilient. That kind of resilience we don't need!

Blessed and Broken

And here is what happened: He sat down at the table with them. Taking the bread, he blessed and broke and gave it to them. Luke 24:30

How blessed it is

to break bread with friends

around the table 

or at the altar rail 

in the local coffee shop

or the pub

Indoors,in the warmth

or outdoors, on the street,

sharing bread just as blessed

with the homeless

and the hungry

or with late night revellers.

How blessed it is to break bread

- so much more than sharing food:

Breaking bread

signals careful regard

one for the other,

Breaking bread

involves generosity, 

acceptance,

compassion

grace

How blessed it is 

to break bread

when strangers become friends

And food becomes

a sacrament shared.

Making peace with the silence

Mark 15:40-41

There were also women looking on from a distance; among them were Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses, and Salome. These used to follow him and provided for him when he was in Galilee; and there were many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem.

Holy Week has been strangely jarring this year

I've been hyper conscious of the preoccupation of others

Those who have been busy preparing services

Those who have been taking part in worship

Those who have been getting ready to welcome family

or have been catching up with friends.

Preoccupation has been tangible

God, too, seems preoccupied

Perhaps unsurprisingly

Preoccupied by the plight of countless victims of violence

Preoccupied by war and rumours of war

Preoccupied by history repeating itself

as those who seek to bring peace

or to live in love with others

are scapegoated

Preoccupied by the sight of those who call out injustice

being subjected to persecution and death.

Today, I walked the beach

in a preoccupied but easy silence with God

and I was grateful for the companionship

in this week of preoccupation

and on this day of silent waiting.

The silence of death

John 19:38-42

The Burial of Jesus

After these things, Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, though a secret one because of his fear of the Jews, asked Pilate to let him take away the body of Jesus. Pilate gave him permission; so he came and removed his body. Nicodemus, who had at first come to Jesus by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing about a hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and wrapped it with the spices in linen cloths, according to the burial custom of the Jews. Now there was a garden in the place where he was crucified, and in the garden there was a new tomb in which no one had ever been laid. And so, because it was the Jewish day of Preparation, and the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

The silence

Of sabbath

Of burial

Of death

The agony

Of betrayal

Of abandonment

Of separation

The severing

Of Trinity

The hiatus

Of Holy Saturday

A broken body

laid in a tomb

We Crucified Jesus

John 19:16-20

So they took Jesus; and carrying the cross by himself, he went out to what is called The Place of the Skull, which in Hebrew is called Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus between them. Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, “Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.” Many of the Jews read this inscription, because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, in Latin, and in Greek.

The place where Jesus was crucified

was near the city

In the midst of life

where people went about their business

A spectacle

that many beheld

yet were powerless to prevent

Jesus was crucified

by the authorities

who act on behalf of the people

even when some of those people object

Still today

we become complicit

in acts of violence

perpetrated in our name

Our complicity is not negated

by our objection

or by our cries of outrage.

Even when we cry

Not in my name

we still end up

with blood on our hands.

We crucified Jesus

We dropped the biggest non nuclear bomb
on Afghanistan
We retaliated to chemical warfare in Syria

while turning our backs on migrants and refugees

We looked on while people died of hunger

in a world rich in resources

The place where Jesus was crucified 

was near the city

in the midst of life

And still today

violence goes on

in the midst of life

where people go about their business

We crucified Jesus.

The Servant

ON THE THURSDAY

John 13:1-7

Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray him. And during supper Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus answered, “You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

Nothing makes sense

when cast in the light

of the unfathomable love of Christ

The Creator of the Universe

stoops to wash our feet

And we, who find such selfless giving

hard to witness or bear

are simply asked

to accept 

the wonderful grace of God

served up

in service

for us.

What a gift!

The Betrayer

ON THE WEDNESDAY

John 13:21-32

Jesus Foretells His Betrayal

After saying this Jesus was troubled in spirit, and declared, “Very truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he was speaking. One of his disciples—the one whom Jesus loved—was reclining next to him; Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So while reclining next to Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” So when he had dipped the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot. After he received the piece of bread, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “Do quickly what you are going to do.” Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. Some thought that, because Judas had the common purse, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the festival”; or, that he should give something to the poor. So, after receiving the piece of bread, he immediately went out. And it was night.

The New Commandment

When he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now the Son of Man has been glorified, and God has been glorified in him. If God has been glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself and will glorify him at once.

The betrayer

is always another

We rarely see in ourselves

the capacity for evil

that we ascribe to others

We prefer not to consider

how little it might take

for us to succumb

and sell our souls

for fleeting reward

Yet, when the night comes

and shadows fall

which of us

can stand firm in the light?

My soul is troubled

ON THE TUESDAY

John 12:20-36

Some Greeks Wish to See Jesus

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honour.

Jesus Speaks about His Death

“Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die. The crowd answered him, “We have heard from the law that the Messiah remains forever. How can you say that the Son of Man must be lifted up? Who is this Son of Man?” Jesus said to them, “The light is with you for a little longer. Walk while you have the light, so that the darkness may not overtake you. If you walk in the darkness, you do not know where you are going. While you have the light, believe in the light, so that you may become children of light.”

The Unbelief of the People

After Jesus had said this, he departed and hid from them.

The light of the world walked among us

And we did not recognise him

His soul was troubled

And we did not offer any comfort

God spoke

And our ears were deaf

And even when all was revealed

Even today, with the gift of hindsight

We choose not to see

Love laid bare

We refuse to hear

God's voice telling us

You are my beloved children of the light

Where is the love?

Psalms 36:5-9

Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,

your judgments are like the great deep;

you save humans and animals alike, O Lord.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!

All people may take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house,

and you give them drink from the river of your delights.

For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light we see light.

Where is the Love 

Where is the Light

Where is the Faithfulness of God

whose wings provide refuge

whose provision sustains life?

When terror comes

and evil stalks the earth

where might justice be found?

We cry to you, O God

out of the depths of our fear

and brokenness.

In a world where children are poisoned

or used as pawns in power games

where presidents pontificate

and rulers ride roughshod over those 

unable to fight back

we cry out

for your justice

and your compassion

and your peace

that binds the broken hearted

and lifts those weary of suffering

Gives us eyes to see

and wisdom to perceive

how to bring about justice

how to bring peace

how to transform our world

by being transformed

by the light of your love

that shines in every darkness.

Which crowd?

Matthew 21:6-9

The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them; they brought the donkey and the colt, and put their cloaks on them, and he sat on them. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road.

The crowds that went ahead of him and that followed were shouting,

“Hosanna to the Son of David!

Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!

Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

So which crowd will I be in

The one that shouts Hosanna

Or the one that cries Crucify?

Or will I, like so many others

Be caught up in the fervour of the day

and just go along with the others for safety's sake

Good rarely comes of rocking the boat

Those who go against the crowd 

are often crushed

But, every once in a while,

we have to stand alone

We cannot always hide among the crowd

So what will I stand for

Shall I have the courage of my convictions

Or will I succumb yet again

to the energy and safety of the crowd.

Hosanna?

Or Crucify?

The choice is mine.

The consequence His.

Let the light in

John 12:36-40

While you have the light, believe in the light, so that you may become children of light.”

The Unbelief of the People

After Jesus had said this, he departed and hid from them. Although he had performed so many signs in their presence, they did not believe in him.

This was to fulfill the word spoken by the prophet Isaiah:

“Lord, who has believed our message,

and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?”

And so they could not believe, because Isaiah also said,

“He has blinded their eyes

and hardened their heart,

so that they might not look with their eyes,

and understand with their heart and turn—

and I would heal them.”

The miracle of belief

in those whose hearts are hardened

those who have succumbed

to the harshness of life

whose sympathies have given way

to cynical unbelief

erected as a protection

for tender hearts

tired of being broken.

The miracle of sight

for those who no longer see

the good and the kind and the noble

because too many times

their eyes have been wounded

with the pain of the world

The miracle of light

for those who prefer

the gentleness of darkness

in which is found retreat

from the pain of the day

and rest for souls wearied

by the gaudy colours

of passing pleasures

The miracle of healing

for all who believe

for all who look to the light

and find there balm for their souls

and hope, faith and love.

Entertaining Angels

Hebrews 13:1-2

Service Well-Pleasing to God

Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Simply going about

the business of loving others

Seeking to care for another

serving their needs

holding them in high regard

Getting on with

the tasks of love

that need no fanfare

but are whispered

in every action

that brightens the day

for another

in every deed 

that eases another's burden.

Showing hospitality

by opening our hearts

and our homes

to friends and strangers

to angels in disguise

Blessed to be a blessing.

Still more to do...

Luke 13:31-35

The Lament over Jerusalem

At that very hour some Pharisees came and said to him, “Get away from here, for Herod wants to kill you.” He said to them, “Go and tell that fox for me, ‘Listen, I am casting out demons and performing cures today and tomorrow, and on the third day I finish my work. Yet today, tomorrow, and the next day I must be on my way, because it is impossible for a prophet to be killed outside of Jerusalem.’ Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! See, your house is left to you. And I tell you, you will not see me until the time comes when you say, ‘Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord.’ ”

No slacking for Jesus

Even with the end in sight

he took no prisoners

refused to divert his course

but ploughed on

delivering, healing

accomplishing

all that he came to do

before setting his face toward Jerusalem

the city that lay in wait

to dispatch him

as it dispatched others .

And, even though he had a notion

of the fate that awaited him there

Jesus was moved with compassion

over a city

and a people

who had lost their way.

Compassion that saw beyond his own dire straits

to go on caring for others.

Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord

Fragrance of love

John 12:1-3

Mary Anoints Jesus

Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

As the fragrance of the costly oil

spread its tendrils around the room

assaulting the senses

and sensibilities

of those gathered

As they breathed in its perfume

and witnessed the unfiltered act

of sheer love

each was assaulted

by their own reaction

each drawn in to wonder

about the extravagance

about the spectacle

about the urge that drove Mary

to indulge in such a gesture.

And might their discomfort

have been more about 

their hardness of heart

their inability to let go

their envy of one

who bared her soul

than about Mary's 

unadulterated

expression of love?

Promised

Hebrews 11:39 - 12:2

Yet all these, though they were commended for their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better so that they would not, apart from us, be made perfect.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.

Not complete

without one another

Each of us

has a part

and a place

in the race of life

Hobblers

Walkers

Joggers

Sprinters

Runners

The race waits for us

to find our pace

and take our space

in that great company

where all are accommodated

embraced

enfolded

welcomed

and carried along

by a tidal wave of love

to where Christ waits

to greet us 

and to make us whole.

Turn

Joel 2:12-13

Yet even now, says the Lord,

return to me with all your heart,

with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;

rend your hearts and not your clothing.

Return to the Lord, your God,

for he is gracious and merciful,

slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love,

and relents from punishing.

Never too late

Always a way back

A way back to the God

of grace

and mercy

and love.

Even now

God waits

for our return

with arms open wide

in welcome.

Compassion

Matthew 20:29-34

Jesus Heals Two Blind Men

As they were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. There were two blind men sitting by the roadside. When they heard that Jesus was passing by, they shouted, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” The crowd sternly ordered them to be quiet; but they shouted even more loudly, “Have mercy on us, Lord, Son of David!” Jesus stood still and called them, saying, “What do you want me to do for you?” They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes. Immediately they regained their sight and followed him.

Compassion

Noticing others

In tune with their distress

Listening to what they want

Filtering out the noise of the crowd

to hear the cries of those in need

and responding

with faith

and love

Pausing 

to make a difference

by reaching out

with a healing touch.

Jesus - 

Ministering to the crowd

Ministering to individuals

Changing lives

at every turn.

Being prepared

Hebrews 11:13-15

All of these died in faith without having received the promises, but from a distance they saw and greeted them. They confessed that they were strangers and foreigners on the earth, for people who speak in this way make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of the land that they had left behind, they would have had opportunity to return.

Looking back

causes us to stumble

to think of what might have been

Following God

along a path unknown

but made clear

leads toward the promise

And though we may not see

The Promised Land

we can know

the joy

the trial

the frustration

and the resilience

of journeying

with the One who goes before us

and yet is behind us

all the way.

Almost time...

John 7:1

After this Jesus went about in Galilee. He did not wish to go about in Judea because the Jews were looking for an opportunity to kill him.

A man condemned.

Already marked out

for persecution

and death.

Forced to continue his work

in secret

under the radar

out of the light.

But pushing on

with more to teach

and more to do

and more to witness.

Condemned

but unstoppable

in doing the will

of the one who sent him.

Condemned

but engaged with humanity

living in love and compassion

until the end.

A man condemned

Son of God.

Provocative

Hebrews 10:23-25

Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful. And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Being provocative...

Not half hearted

Or ineffectually polite

but prodding

and encouraging

one another

to act in love.

And ever hopeful

of making a difference

Of causing a stir

Of pointing others 

to the God

who delivers promises

and who is worthy

of our worship and praise.

Provoke one another...

A work in progress

1 Peter 1:24 - 2:3

For

“All flesh is like grass

and all its glory like the flower of grass.

The grass withers,

and the flower falls,

but the word of the Lord endures forever.”

That word is the good news that was announced to you.

The Living Stone and a Chosen People

Chapter 2

Rid yourselves, therefore, of all malice, and all guile, insincerity, envy, and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure, spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.

Rid yourselves...

Old habits die hard

Salvation is for growing into

It's not instantaneous

We don't suddenly become saints

Growing into the gifts of God

and throwing off old ways

takes time

and practice

and a thirst

for pure, spiritual milk,

the food that will nourish

and sustain

our walk with God

into marvellous light

embracing the word of Gof

that lasts forever.

Do you want to be well?

John 5:2-6

Now in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate there is a pool, called in Hebrew Beth-zatha, which has five porticoes. In these lay many invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”

Not one to make assumptions

Jesus asks: Do you want to be made well?

While others might think

that question out of place

or hypothetical

or just daft,

Jesus knows only too well

the complexity of human nature.

Not everything is obvious.

And folk make all sorts of choices

that aren't easily understood.

But Jesus respects choice.

Never one to impose

his notion of what is right and proper

Jesus asks the difficult question:

Do you want to be made well?

Do you?

A vision

Isaiah 65:19-21

I will rejoice in Jerusalem,

and delight in my people;

no more shall the sound of weeping be heard in it,

or the cry of distress.

No more shall there be in it

an infant that lives but a few days,

or an old person who does not live out a lifetime;

for one who dies at a hundred years will be considered a youth,

and one who falls short of a hundred will be considered accursed.

They shall build houses and inhabit them;

they shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.

A vision of healing and wholeness

beyond the war and carnage.

Of peace and planting

beyond the destruction.

Of fruitfulness

beyond the rubble.

A vision of life.

But how can we glimpse God's promise

through the dust of destruction?

How can we imagine God's future

in the burnt out ruins of a city?

How can we envisage longevity

when the lives of children seem so cheap?

How can we glimpse hope

in the midst of desolation?

Gods promise is for a world 

we cannot imagine

in a time we cannot tell.

Our hope is in a God

who delivers on promises.

What do you say?

John 9:16-17

Some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not observe the sabbath.” But others said, “How can a man who is a sinner perform such signs?” And they were divided. So they said again to the blind man, “What do you say about him? It was your eyes he opened.” He said, “He is a prophet.”

Rumours

Gossip

Condemnation

Conjecture

Deemed a sabbath breaker

A sinner

But to the man who found sight

- a prophet

We, too, if we are of a mind

can see beyond

the testimony of others

can see beyond the rule breaker

and experience the healing of God

who created sabbath rest

and reveals to us

the things before our eyes

in a new light every day.

Let it be...

Luke 1:38

Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

Let it be...

Let me do your will

Even though that means

I'll be cast out

Ostracised

Gossiped about

Even though

some will hate and revile me

and others will shake their heads 

and feel sorry for me

Let it be...

For I am God's servant

And one day

when mothers need a song of protest

they will take up my song

One day

when women need strength

to break out of their oppression

they will take courage

from my story

Let it be...

For there is strength in weakness

and courage in obedience

and joy in surrender

Let it be

Transitional Growing Pains

Minister without charge

In June 2015, I felt called to pursue a new role in the Church of Scotland - that of Coordinator of a Pilot Project from the Panel on Review and Reform - Path of Renewal.

I saw, in the description of the Pilot, an opportunity to mentor other ministers and congregations in discerning opportunities and making room for mission in their parishes and communities- something I longed to do where I was then but simply didn't have the capacity to prioritise in a parish of 11,000 with 5 school chaplaincies and 90 funerals a year, where promised, presbytery planned, ministerial assistance didn't ever materialise in my 7 years in the charge.

Path of Renewal offers not another programme for Renewal but participation in a movement, creating space to discern and act on the leading of the Spirit to places in our communities where God is already at work.

Confirmation of the call came when I was offered the post, after interview and, a few hours later, as I conducted one of the local Primary School's end of term service, I knew that, by the time staff and pupils returned after the summer holiday, I would no longer be their school chaplain.

And so began a journey, through demission, into the strange territory of a minister without charge.

Reactions from colleagues were many and varied but mostly, disbelief that I would demit my charge and leave parish ministry.

Reactions from the congregation were mainly expressions of hurt or declarations that they "knew I was destined for higher things" and no reassurance on my part seemed to convince folk that ministering with them was one of those "higher things" but that God had now called me elsewhere.

Demission involves leaving church, leaving home, leaving community - all, on their own, painful experiences.

Although we found a new place to worship, a place of welcome and nurture, it was a full six months before I could manage through the service without tears.

I simply missed the community of which I'd been a part and grieved that loss.

And, after six months grieving, I realised that I was also grieving a loss of status.

Who was I if I was no longer a parish minister? (Ironically, I had been ordained into Hospital Chaplaincy some 20 years before.)

15 years a Parish minister had subsumed my identity.

And then, at Easter, change began.

Archbishop Justin Welby, speaking into the revelations about his paternity, asserted: " My identity does not come from genetics. My identity is in Christ"

Hearing this was a turning point for me.

Post Easter, with these words speaking powerfully into my life, and pondering the post resurrection Jesus feeding his disciples on the beach, I began to emerge from grief to reconsider my identity in Christ.

It ceased to rankle quite as much when consigned to the bottom of a sign in sheet in Presbytery as a minister without charge - or when colleagues were dismissive of me as "a 121 person now". (Staffing the Institutional body)

Although, thankfully, I loved the new tasks in which I'd been involved, the training, the teaching, the mentoring, the travelling, I now felt able to embrace those in the new security of my status as a beloved child of God.

I thank God for conferring that status and for calling me to fulfil a new role in kingdom building.

But, as I moved out of parish ministry, I had no idea how long it would take to get the parish out of me - or how painful that journey would be. I have much more empathy with the Israelites in the wilderness!

Numbers 11:4-6

The rabble among them had a strong craving; and the Israelites also wept again, and said, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we used to eat in Egypt for nothing, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; but now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.”

 One thing is for sure - Demission is not for wimps!

   

Priorities

Mark 12:28-31

The First Commandment

One of the scribes came near and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, he asked him, “Which commandment is the first of all?” Jesus answered, “The first is, ‘Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

The first

and the greatest

but also the most difficult

Love

with all your heart

with all your soul 

with all your mind

with all your strength

And 

Love your neighbour 

Heart, soul, mind and strength

consume us.

This command leaves no room

for omission

but demands

wholesale embrace.

For nothing less

will do.

The first

the greatest

demands all.