Sunday 29 September 2019

There’s a woman in the pulpit


Mark 14:9
Truly I tell you, wherever the good news is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her.”


“Do you have a desire to preach?” The question posed by 11  men seated around a manse lounge as they explored with me my sense of vocation to full time ministry in the church. “Do you have a desire to preach?”
My voice left me that night - both literally and metaphorically. I was unable to answer affirmatively the one question that mattered to them. 
This was not the first time and, sadly, would not be the last time I was silenced by men.
Now, some 30 years on, despite going forward for selection without their blessing, I dare to call myself a preacher! A preacher in a great long line of women who preach. Women who take the Word, give it flesh, embody and share it wherever life takes them. Be it in Zumba class or belly dancing, in the supermarket or nursery. In the pub or coffee shop, school or shipyard. Sometimes, even, in the pulpit. Occasionally with words, more often in action.
Standing on the shoulders of a great line of mouthy women, women like:
Sarah
Hagar
Shiphrah
Puah
Hulda 
Deborah
Vashti
Esther
Ruth
Mary
Martha
Photene
Phoebe
Dorcas
Julie
Kathryn
Amy
Rachel
Sally-Lodge


... And countless others who have persisted in finding their voice and enabling others to do so too so that, history becomes herstory as the word is spoken and lived out wherever it needs to be seen and heard (Everywhere!)  
I give thanks for those women who discovered their desire to preach, not as defined by men, but as a response to the action of God in all of life and I take my place in that company, beloved of God today. 

Saturday 28 September 2019

The Lord restores my soul

 

He heals and reintegrates my broken depths in his eternal life

Reflecting today on Dallas Willard’s paraphrase of “He restores my soul” from Psalm 23. (Life Without Lack; Thomas Nelson 2019)



He heals and reintegrates my broken depths in his eternal life

There are days when it feels
as though I am fragmented
So many pieces of myself
being given
in so many directions 
And not all who demand
are careful with the pieces offered
or appreciative of the gift received
Yet to withhold
would diminish me
And, after a while
I am left
to gather up the discarded shards
and try to fit them together
to make a whole
But as I sit there
with my complex jigsaw puzzle
I become aware
of God
at my shoulder
Isn’t that always the way
when we’re trying to complete a jigsaw
that someone will appear
to help or advise
But God just stands beside me
not interfering
or directing
just patiently 
and companionably waiting
until I’m satisfied
that all the pieces are slotted 
back into place
albeit that some are now
a bit tarnished
a bit rough round the edges
God waits
And I feel God’s hand in mine
as I smooth my hands over
the incomplete picture
and as I poke my fingers
where pieces are missing
And God does not join me
in a frantic search
to recover the missing pieces
or to fill in the gaps 
God continues to sit with me
gazing in love
at a less than pristine picture
that shows all the signs
of wounds 
and scars
gaping holes
toned down hues
that once were vibrant
and even some still shiny fragments
and in God’s loving gaze
I am reminded
I am loved
just the way I am
and in God’s eyes
all of those pieces
speak of a journey
into wholeness
accompanied by the rhythm
of the beating heart of God
And when I sit back
and listen
I hear God whisper
and know
I am enough 

(Liz Crumlish 2019)

Wednesday 25 September 2019

All day long

Psalms 25:4-5
Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth, and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all day long.

Lord, I long to know your ways
to be so attuned to your heartbeat
so caught up in your rhythm
that I can sense
your perfect timing
and move
with your pulse.
Let me be content
to stay close
to nestle in
to be still
but always alert
to the slightest breath of change
that signals
that the time has come
to follow your lead
into pastures new.
And, still tucked into your side
embracing all that you have taught me this far
may I follow your love
that dwells deep within me
a secret love
that has been growing
in volume
and in passion
a beguiling love
that can no longer be denied
but must be embraced
with all that I have 
when you signal
that the time is right.
May I know the joy of surrender
the wonder of abandonment
that comes
from hearing your call
and following your lead 
wholeheartedly
with no reserve
assured
that courage
and compassion
are the graces that you share
for a new season
and a new dance
held still in your caress.

Friday 20 September 2019

Tagging along


Luke 8:1-3
Some Women Accompany Jesus
Soon afterwards he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, as well as some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna, the wife of Herod’s steward Chuza, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their resources.

I wonder what those women brought to the party
- apart from funding
How did they influence the shenanigans
of men on tour?
Did they bring a level of propriety?
Or did they incite profanity?
Did they use their hard earned resilience
to give as good as they got?
Did they counter the men’s competitive banter
with talk of scars
and stretch marks
and menstrual cycles?
Did they soften the hard edges
of impulsive idealism
with the love and compassion
of mothers 
who know what it is
to struggle and fight 
to birth new life
Did their witness
mingle with Jesus’ teaching
to ameliorate the harshness of  life
and bring a glimmer of hope
that change was possible
not just for men who moved in the right circles
but for all regardless of status.
I like to imagine
that the women changed the conversation
and opened up new possibilities
of life in abundance.

Thursday 19 September 2019

Another Threshold?




Revisiting a couple of posts from 5 years ago - when there was the opportunity for change. Wondering if, in the light of Brexit division, we can ever recapture that sense of hope and possibility?

On the Sunday before the Referendum for Scottish Independance:

Genesis 12:1-3
The Call of Abram
​ Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

Reflecting on the Call of Abram and the covenant God makes with him.
Abram was a man who didn't have any answers as to what the future held but you would never have known that from his actions. He caught the scent of a promise of a better future and stepped out boldly. His actions shaped history for a whole people.
If Scotland elects to leave the UK next Thursday in the Referendum, perhaps, in our quest for a better Nation, we are not abandoning our neighbours in the rest of the UK to the ravages of unjust policies and ineffective politicians or to further decline and a widening gap between the rich and the poor (as have been just some of the accusations made),perhaps we are not abandoning our neighbours.
Perhaps we are leading them, by our example, into the conviction that there is another way, that we can make a difference, that things can be other than they are at present and that our communities, our Nation and our world can be a better place, where all are valued for who they are, where all are afforded opportunity, where wealth and resources are shared, even if that costs some of us a bit more.
What if our calling is not to fear the unknown (and, at this stage, an independent Scotland is very much an unknown) but, believing in a better future for all God's people, to lead the way to make that future a reality? To model a future that others will want to follow and, by our example, will be inspired to pursue?
That old Scots saying "Better the devil you know" serves to keep us sticking with less than we might encounter simply because we fear the unknown. Conventional wisdom urges us not to become foreigners, not to give up all that to which  we can already lay claim.
Abram modelled a response to God's call that took him from certainty to uncertainty, from a familiar landscape to unknown territory,from tentative options to bold faith. What if this is our time to do the same?

And, on the day after the Referendum: 

As the sun rose on the day after the Referendum
I made my way to the beach.
Not all the results had been declared
But it was clear that dreams of an Independent Scotland
were not to be realised 
My heart was heavy
My spirit subdued.
But as I trudged along the sand
the stillness of an unseasonably warm autumn morning
bathed my soul
as surely as the ebbing tide
bathed the shore.
The sense of the Creator's presence all around-
In the sun creeping over the horizon
In the waves gently lapping the sand
In the quiet and the calm
reminded me
that grief too is a part of life
and broken dreams
are preceded by the spirit of hope.
Hope that cannot be snuffed out
but that continues to burn.
And when part of the dream dies
or is extinguished
the flicker that is left
must work harder
to illuminate the darkness. 
We are not defeated.
People of all hues
The yes and the no
have glimpsed the promised land
albeit from different perspectives.
It is now that, together,
they can step out in faith
to claim that promise
for themselves
and for generations to come.
Hope has not died
but has been rekindled
in ways we would never have imagined.
The fight is not over
but has only just begun.
All is not lost
and there is everything to gain.
And the tasks of grieving
for those who mourn involves 
acknowledging the dream
that we have lost,
gathering up the passion
that remains,
Moving on with renewed energy
and new friendships
to achieve that promised land
that we envisaged
where all are valued,
and where we share resources
with the poor and the vulnerable.
Together we can fan the flicker
of our wavering hope
into the flame
of love and justice
and peace in our land.
We have it in us
to realise the dream 
The work has only just begun.

(Liz Crumlish 19th September 2014)

Wednesday 18 September 2019

Reconciling love

Matthew 5:21-24
“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.


Lord, when I am tempted
to consider my virtues
rather than my vices
When I can readily take stock
of the good that  I do
conveniently overlooking
all the opportunities I miss
Remind me of your call
to reconcile
to restore
to repair
And break down
my walls of complacency
and my tendency to spin favourably
the difference I make
while completely forgetting
the harsh judgments I pronounce
in an instant
- the ways I consign others
to categories that confine
that leave no room for growth
or for change
and especially not
for redemption
Bring me back to you
so that, with the assurance 
of your encircling love
I may find compassion
for self and others
With the knowledge of your acceptance
may I expand my horizons
until the lines that I draw
are obliterated
by the incoming tide
of your grace
And, as I meet you at the altar
and feed on your abundance
may that love food
nourish every encounter
inform every decision
and sustain the flourishing
that is your will
for all of creation.

Friday 13 September 2019

Thresholds, Gateways and Margins

Jeremiah 7:1-7
The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: Stand in the gate of the Lord’s house, and proclaim there this word, and say, Hear the word of the Lord, all you people of Judah, you that enter these gates to worship the Lord. Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Amend your ways and your doings, and let me dwell with you in this place. Do not trust in these deceptive words: “This is the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord.”
For if you truly amend your ways and your doings, if you truly act justly one with another, if you do not oppress the alien, the orphan, and the widow, or shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not go after other gods to your own hurt, then I will dwell with you in this place, in the land 
that I gave of old to your ancestors forever and ever.


Prophets
Willing to speak truth to power
Willing to call out injustice
Willing to draw attention
to the plight of those on the margins
whose voices are not heard 
and whose cries go unheeded 
Accomplices of Poets
who describe
and prescribe
a better way
Who put into words 
a vision of inclusion 
A vision in which nothing
is right side up
and where influence is found
in the least and the last
Alongside Dreamers
who remind us
that transformation is possible
for those who believe
who reimagine
a future
that is not yet
but will be.
An unholy Trinity
those three
Prophets, Poets, Dreamers, 
who mark out the thresholds
and stand in gateways
and remind us of the margins
where the rejects and the outcasts
and all whom we exclude
gather together in hope
and in certainty of the knowledge
that God’s favour rests
on those who are overlooked
Prophets, Poets and Dreamers
showing us where and how
the Kingdom of God is
in every place and time.

Wednesday 11 September 2019

God’s eye view

Matthew 6:22-23
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light; but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

I imagined I’d made progress
when I could look within
and see wholeness
made up of dark and light
and love all of it
I imagined maturity consisted
of making friends
with the imperfections
even when they choose
on occasion
(or frequently)
to be exhibitionist.
I imagined that,
as I cut myself some slack,
I afforded the same to others
Yet all the while
I was making humility
a badge of honour!
And inviting huge disappointment.
I’m still not very good at it
- but now I know
(though I’ll always be tentative)
there is more.
Going deeper involves
getting down and dirty with God
plumbing depths
that only God
as creator
has fathomed
and invites us to inhabit
(now and again)
to connect fully
with that spark 
of the Divine
that God places in each of us
A spark waiting to be released
into dazzling light
as we become
all that God intended.
And more - 
as we connect 
with that divine spark in others.



Tuesday 10 September 2019

Prayerful space

 Luke 6:12-13
Now during those days he went out to the mountain to pray; and he spent the night in prayer to God. And when day came, he called his disciples and chose twelve of them, whom he also named apostles.

Giving thanks today
for time spent in prayer
Snatched moments on the morning commute
on the station platform
or the standing room only carriage
Or long walks along the beach
leaning into the wind
and dodging the surf
when the spray infuses our tears.
Or in a space set apart
that beckons any and all
to rest and rage
and listen
and be still.
Giving thanks
for the presence of God
in all of those spaces
and more
and for friends
willing to sit with us
to walk with us
to wrestle alongside us
and to help us live into
the fullness of life
to which God calls.

Monday 9 September 2019

Body of Christ

Rachel Held Evans, in Searching for Sunday,  describes talking about church as “attempting to explain the most important, complicated, beautiful, and heart-wrenching relationship of my life...without yelling or crying or saying any cuss words.” 

Lord, when we cannot stand it any longer
When we refuse to keep going back for more
More hurt
More rejection
More disappointment
You don’t help us find a way out
You compel us 
to make things different
You challenge us
to be ourselves
Not compliant
Not resigned
But persistent
Because we know 
we are called to be
in relationship
with you
and with each other.
So you keep on 
nudging us back
You keep on
teaching us how to compromise
You keep on
reminding us
that we don’t have all the answers
You keep on
showing us
that you hurt
when we are hurt
that you are diminished
when we withdraw
And you don’t let go.
So help us
to head back into the fray
knowing that just as we are not perfect
neither is your church
But we are called 
to stick it out
as far as we can
as much as we can
Because, alongside us
you share our frustration
For you too were rejected
You too became an outsider
You too were a disappointment
Yet you never stopped loving
You never stopped caring
And you never gave up hope
Lord, give us the strength
to stick with
faith, hope and love.


Thursday 5 September 2019

Generosity and call

Luke 5:8-11
But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken; and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.

Leaving everything
That’s some commitment
Leaving everything
That’s a step too far
Leaving everything
For what?
A leap into the unknown
where nothing is guaranteed?
- even though there’s no reason to question
the generosity already shown.
Do not be afraid?
I don’t think so!
Not when your call
disrupts and disturbs
and brings to light
all that we lack
 - the depths of our unworthiness
-/the shallowness of our trust
- even transferable skills!
I’ll just sit here in the boat
and listen
I’m no Simon 
I’ll lend you my boat 
I’ll even get my toes wet
but no swimming for me
Yet even as I protest
Even as I make my half hearted response
You are waiting on the beach
as though you have all the time in the world
your arms are open wide
there’s a smile on your face
And I just know
I’m about to get in 
way above my head.
Thanks, Lord.



Sunday 1 September 2019

Dredging the heart

Psalms 139:23
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.

God, you alone know my heart
Motivations
Longings
Desires
Hopes I dare not speak
for fear of being ridiculed
or rebuked
or rejected
God, you alone know my heart
What sets me on fire
What extinguishes the spirit
God you alone know my heart
The bit I wear on my sleeve
for others to see
The parts I’m happy to risk being out there
God, you alone know my heart
The deep hidden mystery
so hard to access
shoved so far down
for protection
God, you alone know my heart
Dredge with me its  depths
clearing away the detritus
that prevents me from risk
reassuring me
that whatever emerges
will not take me beyond your love
God, you alone know my heart
Help me to know it myself
so that I can be all that you want me to be
Freed to live abundantly
in the circle of your knowledge
and of your love.

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