Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Gossiping the gospel

a wee take on Sunday's gospel - Jesus cleansing the temple:

Eeh, Molly, did ye see the state o' they white doves when they bailed it oot o' the temple the day?
Aye, Jan, they're usually that stuck up and well turned oot - but yon Jinty looked as though she'd been dragged through a hedge, feathers a' awry, smudges on her breestie, she looked as if she got a richt fright!
Oh aye, Sadie's cousin's bidie -in telt shug's mate Erchie that it looked as if a cat had got in wi' a' the doos - feathers fleein' everywhere, and the racket o' a' the squawkin' - this mad lookin' rabbi evidently took a wee hissy fit, cowped a' the tables, opened a' the cages and chased men, women and beasts for their lives - mutterin' somethin' aboot his faither's hoose. Well let me tell ye Molly, I kent his faither!
Don't know whit got intae him or whit he wis up tae but in 10 minutes he managed to tear doon empires that huv been goin' on for years - Auld faither Cohen has had that wee corner stall since his faither left it tae him when that mule put paid tae his dancin' days.
Aye Jan, I wunner whit it wis a' aboot? Whit got intae him? I mean, I know it's like runnin' the gauntlet every time ye try and get tae the priest - no' that us wimmen are allowed that close anyway - an' ye always leave the temple wae an empty purse, but that's jist the way it is and has been fer years. Ye can like it or lump it.
Ay, Molly, but Erchie's big son's puttin' aboot this notion that it wisnae aboot the temple at a' - that the mad rabbi wis makin' a point aboot how fowk pit upon ane anither an' hiv loast sicht o' whits important - daein tae ithers whit ye'd want them tae dae to you. He says that we shouldnae be chargin' fowk tae get tae God - that God's fer everybody,withoot exception.
He says the rabbi was sae mad because the temple's jist goin' the way o' the world.
Aye Jan, anither conspiracy theory - never mind that - ye don't show yer emotions in the temple - ye put up and shut up - that rabbi's jist upset the apple cart big time.
Apple cart, Molly, Ah didnae know they were sellin' apples as well noo doon the temple.
Aw Jan, I dinnae mean apples apples - I mean the whole barrel - everythin's upended noo.
Aye, yer right there Molly - upended it is.
We might never get it back to how it wis.
But that widnae be a bad thing - Aye - no' a bad thing at a'.


Beth said...

lovin' it! I say do this on Sunday - let the story be the object lesson - lovely!

liz said...

Hehe, Beth, your folk would need a translator!!! Mind you they probably need one when we Scots speak English too!!! x

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